It all began so nice.
A bunch of friends at a cabin in the mountains.
Lots of alcohol, laughter. We had fun.
And then don't you fucking know it, a squad of nazi zombies woke up.
I know. It sounds like a cliché,
but that's what happened.
You see, we found something.
Something we shouldn't have found.
Old Nazi gold.
And then ...
All hell broke loose.
They slaughtered us. One .....
.... by one. One of them bit me.
But I knew how I could fix it.
My girlfriend Hanna ....
They ....
They got her too.
I got the gold.
Gave it back.
And they let me go.
I thought I was safe.
I was wrong.
Take the damn coin and go back to hell where you came from!
Shit, shit, shit.
Okay, okay.
I knew we should not have touched the box.
Stay awake now. Stay awake.
That's a good question, Toralf. Of all migratory birds
there's a little critter that really stands out.
Namely, Arctic Terns, or Sterna Paradisaea,
a coastal bound, surface-feeding seabird
from the group "Havterner".
Havternen maneuvers gracefully in the air like a ....
Troops, Sieg Heil!
Yes?
What do we have here?
Martin, can you hear me?
Hello, Martin. Welcome back.
Martin, you crashed your car.
A nasty crash. You are lucky to be alive.
That is more than one can say about your friends.
Have you seen ....
Have you seen the creatures?
The things.....
Have the police caught them? Or the army?
Roy and Erlend?
- Hanna? - We found our friends. All of them.
Dead. Hanna was your girlfriend, right?
Very beautiful. We found her too.
With an ax driven into the neck.
And your fingerprints on the shaft.
Do you have any idea how that could happen?
They came up from ....
From the snow. Creatures. Nazis. We got away, but ....
Nazis coming out of the ground? Absurd.
Are you sure that he doesn't have brain damage as well?
Please call the family and tell them that he has awakened, and ask the D.A. to send a car.
And four additional men. It looks like you are ready to be transported.
They are still out there. They will kill again if we do not stop them.
We are not going to stop anyone. I've seen what you've done.
I was up there, and the only place you are going is to jail. No one knows what happened up there.
Only you know that. And it's not only bad news.
When we found you, you were badly injured. Your right arm was torn straight off.
- It was not torn .... - When we found you, it was cold.
The snow had chilled all, and that was very good.
- And then we found your arm in the car. - In the car?
It was slightly bruised and quite pale for some strange reason,
but the surgery was a success.
We managed to re-attach your arm.
No, no, no.
- It's not my arm. - Relax.
It is Satan's arm! It is Satan's arm!
Calm down.
No, it's not me!
No!
It's not me! What the hell ...?
Stop!
Randi?
Be prepared to remove your dentures a bit later ...
I'm ready for a little head tonight.
From the one that got away.
Nameless German Soldiers Who Fell In World War II
Broken.
Warm.
The men have rotted.
We need more people.
Damn lock!
You scared me, Nils.
I can't take any more of your nonsense. I've had a hell of a long day.
A wedding, a funeral and a confirmation.
The one confirmant was damn fine.
If only I had been ten years younger ...
And not a priest, of course.
Nils?
Come on!
Sieg ....
Heil.
Sieg Heil, Sieg Heil, Sieg Heil.
They came down from the mountain.
I saw them.
Hey! Hey!
They are coming! They're going to kill everyone!
Psst, hey. Hey, you, psst. Yeah, you.
Hello.
I saw your arm. Looks really cool.
Took some pictures too. Looks sick, but still cool.
I am not supposed to be in here, but I snuck in here like a ninja.
Oh, I am Bobby. I am here on vacation with my mom.
She ate some bad fish yesterday, so ... yeah ..
Cool. Seriously cool.
It looks burned. And old.
Like a zombie arm. Zombies are cool.
Zombies?
Oh, sorry, got to take this. They are wondering if I can get some more info.
More than just a picture of the arm.
Who? What?
The Zombie Squad. They are wondering if I can get some more info.
They are experts on zombies. They live in America.
They have trained for this for years, just waiting for a zombie outbreak to happen.
So they can come here? Just tell them to come right now to get the zombies.
If they are experts they can kill the zombies for us!
I know. You've seen the zombies? 'Cause they're real, right? Yeah!
- Can you let me loose? - I'm not sure if I should, I mean, you're ..
- I have chocolate. - You do?
Yeah, I have chocolate. 'Cause I could get it for you, but you know ...
- Double-triple-fudge. - Oh my God ...!
Let me get this right here.
Come on. You can do it.
Help me with the other.
- Can I have my chocolate now? - There is no chocolate, kid.
- No chocolate? - Shut the fuck up.
I got to get out.
Hey!
It's not what it looks like.
Stop!
Hello?
This is Daniel Heffernan, leader of the Zombie Squad. Can I please speak to Bobby?
Bobby, uhh ...
- Bobby, he ... - I don't speak the language of Thor.
- Is Bobby there? - Bobby was killed by zombies.
My God.
Is this Zombie Squad? That is a 10.4, Martin, and we will be heading your way shortly.
But before we go we need as much information as you can give us. Anything you have.
Well, umm .....
We came up to the cabin, and there was a bunch of ... of ..
Nazi zombies there and ...
You know, they killed us all, and ..
Except me. Yeah, and ...
I had to saw my arm off and that, but ..
It's ... yeah, the arm is ... and ..
But then they wanted the treasure and the coin and ...
- Were any of you bitten? - We were all bitten,
But we didn't become one of them. We just ....
We just died, so ...
Listen, Martin, and listen good.
These are not your classic textbook zombies,
just hungering to feast on the flesh of man. No, these are most likely cursed zombies.
Awakened to reclaim something that was stolen from them,
- or to complete a task given to them. - They called him Herzog, they ...
They called him Herzog.
Martin of the North, we will be on our way shortly,
and we will take care of this infection.
We are professionals. But until then,
find out what they seek, their purpose. Bye.
Zombie Squad, they are ....
They are professionals.
They are bad ass.
Okay, girls.
It looks like we're going to Norway.
Norway? We can't go to Norway. That's on the other side of the world.
Yeah, and how do we know it's for real? I mean, Daniel, that is a long way to go to find out if it's a hoax?
You saw the picture.
This is a bonafide infected arm. You know this.
All the signs are there, guys. The decayed skin, the rotten hair, the dark blood.
- This is real, guys, it's real. - This could be dangerous.
No shit, it's fucking zombies. Of course it will be dangerous!
But this is what we've been waiting for. This is our chance to prove to everyone that we were right.
I mean, we've been telling everyone for years that it is just a matter of time
before the first outbreak happens. And what have we seen in return?
Laughter. Ridicule.
Wedgies.
Well, guess who was right?
- Guess who's laughing now? - I guess we're laughing now?
You're damn right we are. I mean, what did we start the Zombie Squad for if it wasn't for this?
- He's right. - Damn right I'm right.
And besides, if we don't do this... If we don't go there and help these people...
Who the hell will? Yeah ....
- So what do we do? - Yes!
Okay, we need as much information as we can get on this Herzog character,
on Martin and north of Norway, everything.
Oh wait, hold on, guys. We can't let our landlords know about this.
- Do you mean our parents? - Yes, our parents, but ...
- We just can't tell them what's happening. - Got it.
Alright, official members of the Zombie Squad USA....
- Oh my God ...! - It's time to go hunting.
That was further than usual.
I poured you some coffee.
- Damn, it is cold. - It's because you're 40 minutes late.
I am on winter time. That winter time, summer time system ..
It's so stupid. What do you have?
Not much. Petra's boy has been shoplifting again.
They should have done what they do in Iran. Cut off his hands. Taught him a lesson.
And Ove's dog has pooped in Mr. Olsen's garden.
- Shoot him. - Shoot Mr. Olsen?
Not shoot Mr. Olsen. You shoot the dog!
In addition we have a lecture in school about the danger of using marijuana.
Boring ....
There was one thing, though. From Oksfjord.
Oksfjord? No, no, no, it is not our jurisdiction.
Martin Hykkerud escaped from the hospital yesterday.
Martin Hykkerud? The same Martin Hykkerud who killed his friends on top of the mountain?
Yeah. He escaped from the hospital yesterday and killed a little boy and a policeman ...
by throwing a Mercedes star at his face.
- He cut off the Mercedes star? - Yeah.
- What does Oslo say? - About the Mercedes star?
About the Hykkerud case!
They say we all need to be on alert, and that we need to get more people.
Hold the fort until they can send a team.
Send a team, more people ... Where the hell do I find the money to bring in more people?
I don't even have money to buy new batteries for the cars out here.
Okay. Right.
What?
Didn't we agree on a more casual style here?
Continue.
My God, I was expecting something like the Hoth system, but this is more like Endor.
Can't you reference anything other than Star Wars?
- Like Star Trek maybe if I can't sleep. - Yeah, at least it is based on scientific theories ...
- Guys, guys, I have a lock on Martin. - Where is he?
- Ice Bay. - Ok, let's go!
Hold on, hold on, hold on! First there is something we need to do.
- Oh yeah, I really have to pee. - No!
Arm up! You really fucking ruined that.
It would be a lot easier if we could buy weapons here. I know.
What the fuck's the matter with this country?
Can I help you?
Too much coffee. You just go ahead.
Best for you if you move on.
This is a war museum, huh?
Yes.
Yes, and ....
Do you have any information about the Germans?
Help!
Listen to me!
I don't have time for this now. They're coming, and we must stop them! Do you understand.
I have two kittens at home. Please don't hurt me. Shut up!
Just help me. Please.
- Do you have information about Einsatz? - Yes.
- First floor. - First floor.
Where the hell are you?
- What are you looking for? - Herzog.
Hitler's buddy.
- Nice, huh? - Do not touch the exhibit.
Herzog was made commander of Einsatz in 1942,
and was sent to the far north of Norway, in order to protect the warships
that the German Navy was hiding in the fjords.
He was on duty in Oksfjord doing a routine inspection on the ship Scharnholst, when ...
Scharnholst.
When Tirpitz, the German fleet's biggest warship
was attacked by English bombers in Talvik,
after getting vital information on the ships location from Norwegian spies.
Hitler, humiliated by the attack on Tirpitz ordered Herzog
to wipe out all of the 800 men, and people who lived in Talvik at the time.
He was on his way?
He was on his way to Talvik the evening him and his men were slaughtered in Oksfjord?
On a mission from Hitler.
A mission that was never completed. That is what it is. That's exactly what it is.
They will destroy Talvik.
Where .....?
Herzog was going from Oksfjord,
which is here.
And he was going to Talvik.
It's here.
Where are we now?
Where are we now?!
Here.
Ice Bay.
It is right between ....
They are recruiting!
They make new soldiers. Can they do that now? Fuck!
Okay, they're coming here. They're coming here.
I will not die in a museum with a guy in a green jogging suit.
Calm down. You will die.
But relax. Not today.
There!
Let's see what this thing can do.
What kind of thing?
What did you do? You just killed them without ...
It's the arm, man.
Before I could not control it, but now it does what I think.
You're not even sweating.
Don't worry about it.
They will increase in numbers. Damn, they will be many.
There are too many for this arm.
So much death.
All this unnecessary death.
Fuck!
You did what the fucker did before. You just ...
- You ... - No, it was the arm. It was the arm.
He doesn't attack.
Did you see that? Did you see that? I hit it!
I hit it! Oh my God. I did it. I fucking did it!
I hit it right in the eye. Oh my God, oh my God.
Take a picture. Please take a picture of me.
- First Zombie Squad kill. - One, two ....
Cheese ...!
Did you get it?
Oh, we spoke on the phone. I am Daniel. This is Blake and Monica.
We are the Zombie Squad.
- God damn it. - It is real. These are real dead people.
And that's a real zombie. You killed him.
- I can't believe it. - Can we just focus for one second, guys?
I'm so sorry. We are more professional than this.
- You're the Zombie Squad? - Yep.
- You are the Zombie Squad. - Yeah, we are the Zombie Squad.
Yeah, I'm sorry. I was just expecting something different.
So was this guy when he woke up this morning.
'Cause I hit him in the face with an ax.
- Yeah, how did you find me? - We tracked your iPhone, of course.
We're fucking nerds. It's what we do. Technical shit. Let's cut the chit chat.
What did you find out? What do the creatures want?
Revenge.
This is insane!
You? You have the gift?
The force is strong with this one.
Ok.
Martin, this is how we defeat them. This is how we take them down.
- What do you mean? - I mean ...
We create an army of our own.
I tried to get as much information as I could on my trip over.
Especially about Herzog. To defeat your enemy, you must know your enemy.
This is Lieutenant Stavarin from the Soviet army.
He and his battalion was captured during the battle of Kursk,
and brought here to the north of Norway as POWs.
In 44 they were all sent to Kvenang mountain ..
..to build a road through the mountain pass.
But it was after they built the road that shit got ugly.
All of the prisoners were shot. Shot to death!
No survivors.
And the man in charge?
Herzog.
Those bodies are still buried there.
Buried in the frozen soil. Preserved, waiting...
- Waiting for what? - The same thing that drives Herzog.
Revenge. And guess who is gonna give it to them.
- The man who can raise the dead? - Fucking yeah ...!
You guys go after Herzog. Try to slow him down and give us as much time as possible, ok?
- What if this doesn't work? - It has to.
All we have to do is to get to Kvenang mountain, find Stavarin, wake him back from the dead,
and bring him back to Talvik so he can help us fight Herzog and his men.
Easy. Besides ......
We got help.
Here we go.
He is our last hope.
Look, a tank.
- A visit at this hour? - That was early.
Hello?
Look. His army is growing bigger.
Glenn, are there any more towns or villages before he reaches Talvik?
- Maybe a few houses, but that's it. - Good. So what he has now he will use for his attack.
Yeah, pretty much. That is until he starts killing the people of Talvik and makes them join him as well.
- How many people live in Talvik? - About 3000.
What, holy shit! All the more reason for us to slow them down as much as we can.
Look. Do you know how to use one of those things? Of course. I am from northern Norway, aren't I.
I don't know what that means. Guys, pack light.
We're moving out. Now!
What the hell happened here?
What are the investigators saying?
They are not investigators, is's only Tom and Ole wearing white suits today.
They thought it might make them look more professional.
A forensic team with real investigators should get here later tonight.
- Do we have any witnesses? - Not unless you can make the seagulls talk.
Seagulls..... yes. That would make a damn good invention.
A gadget that translates seagull language to human language.
That inventor would get filthy rich.
Get the bodies to Talvik before the seagulls eat them.
And take lots of pictures, otherwise Forensics will cut off my balls.
Boss, here are pictures from the surveillance camera.
Isn't that...?
Lick me deep in my manpussy ....!
Okay, guys, guys! We are in a hurry. Come on!
Come on, damn it! We have things to do!
There they are. And they have a tank, I see.
Yeah, they stole it from the museum.
Fuck!
- What is that? - The largest tank and 40 or 50 zombies.
No, no, no. That. What is that?
These are replicas of the binoculars that Han and Chewie used on the planet Hoth.
Did you guys know fun fact? All of the Hoth scenes
were filmed here in Norway. This place called Finse.
Girls, could we please maybe focus on, you know, the Nazi zombies instead?
What do we do? Well, Daniel told us to slow them down, so that's what we're gonna do.
Look.
We need to get out there, get their attention and lure them into the swamps, right.
And then when they get stuck, we can use the fertilizer bombs we made and blow them into bits and pieces.
That sounds basically impossible.
And how are you planning on luring them out there? We need bait. Live bait.
Yes, we need someone to attract their attention.
Someone who is light on their feet.
Who knows these swamps and can move through them without getting stuck.
What?
No.
No. That's a swamp. I'm not getting out there.
Who says I won't get stuck? And one more thing ...
Those things are fucking zombies who want to rip my face off.
Talvik is you hometown, am I right?
- Yeah. - You must have people you love there.
Yeah. Especially one ma ... woman, that I love.
- Long hair and big boobs. - Do it for "her".
You just bring them here, and we'll do the rest. Capice?
Hey man? Martin?
- Yeah? - Are you okay?
Yeah, I ...
First, we wake up a battalion of Nazi zombies,
and now I'm supposed to wake up a bunch of dead Russian guys.
Look, your arm, your power,
is the only thing that can take down Herzog at this point. Remember that.
If we don't succeed,
his power will keep growing until he's unstoppable.
That, my friend, is a big bowl of shit
that we don't want to live in.
Oh my God. That is vile smelling.
How did it fill up the car so fast? That smell ....!
- It's alright, he's just carsick or something. - That smells foul.
No, no, no no!
Fuck, that's disgusting!
That smells.
I didn't know it was an ugly-nosed congress in town.
Come and get me, then.
Come and get me if you dare.
Move!
Halt!
- It's working. They are following him. - But not Herzog and most of his men. Shit.
No, no, it's ok. We got their attention. If we take these guys out, he will come for us instead.
Come on, Glenn!
Run faster!
Yes!
Come on, Glenn!
Yes.
- Run, Glenn! - Faster!
Run, run!
Please, God.
Yes!
Oh my God, Blake!
USA, USA!
USA!
Fire!
Hey. The tank is moving.
That can't be good.
Run!
Oh my God!
Talvik. Now.
Hey.
- Where are we? - We're getting close.
But we're also stuck.
- Can I push it? - I don't think that would help.
- Is it far? We could walk. - We don't have that kind of time.
If only we could find something
to put under the car, you know. Something that would give us traction.
Then I could get us out of here.
- There you are. - Damn hard to find room for all the bodies.
The cooler is completely full. We had to throw the rest in the garage with some ice cubes.
- Sounds like a perfect solution. - Thank you.
Mostly Germans and French. Hardly the vacation they envisioned when they got their tickets for Norway.
Having their heads and arms ripped off and entrails pulled out? I doubt it.
Unless they like that kind of kinky stuff.
- Should you do that? - No.
- Shouldn't Forensics have been here by now? - It was so windy down in Alta
that the plane couldn't land. They said they should be here tomorrow afternoon.
- It's perfect. - What?
It's our chance.
Now, we can fucking show people what we're made of here.
Us here at Talvik Police will find Martin Hykkerud ourselves.
We will get him. Us. We will be heroes.
Not the goddamn suit-cladded,
Sushi-eating cocksuckers down south.
Beef the guys....
Brief the guys. Send photos to all the cops here in Talvik.
If he as much as stops to pee, I want to know the color and smell of his urine.
- Odor and color. - And get the weapons ready.
For once we will shoot at something other that seagulls.
Do you really think this is going to work?
I mean, say we actually manage to wake these Russians back to life.
What's stopping them from killing us?
I don't know what's gonna happen. But judging based on him?
He treats you like you're his master. So hopefully they do the same.
Hopefully.
Hopefully .... I don't know, man. This is some unprecedented, unheard of,
mysterious voodoo zombie shit, man. I've never seen this before.
I've seen a thousand zombie movies, and this is not in any of them.
You have created a whole new genre here, man.
Look, I mean, if we are gonna go up against a battalion of Nazi zombies,
we could do a whole lot worse than teaming up with a battalion of Russian zombies.
He has to die, you know. Herzog.
For what he did. We have to kill him.
I have to kill him. For Hanna.
- This is it. - Yeah.
This is definitely it.
Herzog killed Stavarin and 50 of his men here.
So they got be buried in this frozen ground.
How do we do this?
You do it ...
just like you did .... with him.
I put my hand on his head.
Okay. Right.
We can't dig up everyone. It'll take weeks.
You have to wake them up, one way or another.
Master!
Fuck, yeah!
He was first seen here.
In Oksfjord.
And next time here. Museum at Ice Bay.
Then he appears to be heading south. Perhaps there.
We have a problem.
A gang dressed as Germans going crazy out there?
Crazy? They killed loads of people, so yeah.
What's happening. We haven't had a murder since 74, and suddenly we have Ragnarok on our doorstep.
Okay, everybody, listen up! Shoot first, ask later!
There is no one here. We have sent them away.
They are gone.
Since you can't complete your mission,
you might as well just turn and go back to your snow cave.
Some have grown a bit since last time. Gotten a little bigger.
I brought a couple of buddies to the dance.
Don't you get a bitter feeling when somebody you thought were dead
have come back to kill you?
Let's kill them.
Troops!
Attack!
Let's kill them all!
What the hell is going on here? Is the carnival in town?
Is that a tank?
- Damn! - Run!
Help!
Daniel! Tank!
- Shouldn't we help them? - Help who?
Those with bad skin in German uniforms or those with bad skin in Russian uniforms?
Okay.
Good boy.
- Jesus, Mary and Joseph Stalin! - What the hell is going on?
Damn if I know. Looks like a video game.
Look, that's him. It's Martin Hykkerud!
- Damn, it's him. - Should we get him?
No, no, no, no. Let's wait until it calms down.
Tactical police work.
Zombie Squad. It's about time!
- That's a long story. - There was a tank.
A guy took my jacket.
Looks like you found Stavarin and his men, I see. Yeah, but they're still more than us.
I guess it's time we even out the odds a bit, huh.
Folks! We're losing!
Look!
Shit!
No, no, no.
No!
Wait!
We have to kill him!
They're all bound to him like the Russians are to you.
If he dies, the others will too.
Let's finish this.
Untermensch.
Guys, come on. No seat belts?
You're asking for it.
Fucking hell! How many more of these are there?
Is this it?
Monica, is this how it's gonna end?
No, no.
- Are we gonna die now? - No.
Fuck it.
Fuck it, I'm just gonna say it.
I,
Glenn Kenneth Toivonen, am ...
No!
- Blake! - Glenn?
Monica ..
Why didn't you just stay on the mountain?
You got what you wanted. You got the gold. The treasure.
But it was not enough.
You were greedy.
You wanted more.
Blake!
- Monica. - Watch out.
- Monica! - Blake!
Blake! No!
That's why you lost, you know.
Because you were greedy.
You know you lost the war?
Lost everything.
Ridiculed.
Pathetic.
And you know what?
You lose again.
No!
Oh my God!
He did it!
- He killed Herzog. - It worked. I knew it.
Herzog is dead.
He is dead. Yes!
Holy cow, that was close.
You did it! You killed Herzog?
I can't believe that that actually worked,
Of course it did.
You doubted the Zombie Squad?
Glenn Kenneth, is he ...?
He didn't make it.
It's been a true honor killing zombies with you guys.
You too, Martin.
What is it? Okay.
- You can say it. - Go for it.
May the Force be with you.
Really? That one? Of all ...? You chose that one?
There's like a million to chose from, why would you chose that one?
- Where the hell are they? They were just here. - Damn if I know.
Damn! Bjarne!
Are you in a coma?
Go and find them, damn it!
I should have solved this case. Ending up with a hundred new bodies...
Where do we put them all? The garage and the cooler are packed.
I don't know! I don't know.
The seagulls again. They haven't eaten this good since the war.
We should have had the damn machine, you know.
A machine to translate seagull language to human language.
Then we would have cracked this case wide open like an egg. You get it!
Like an egg.